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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/22403482">Speechless</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/Facialteeth/pseuds/Noteventhat'>Noteventhat (Facialteeth)</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>Halloween Fics [10]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Shadowhunters (TV)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Angst, Blood Loss, Blood and Gore, Demons, Distorted Thinking, Established Relationship, Halloween, Horror, M/M, Partial Mind Control, Shapeshifting Demon, ambiguous ending</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-01-25</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-01-25</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-18 02:49:18</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Not Rated</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Graphic Depictions Of Violence</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>1,927</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/22403482</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/Facialteeth/pseuds/Noteventhat</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>The second Jace saw Meliorn in the woods, Jace could tell that something about him was horribly wrong.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Jace Herondale/Meliorn, Past Jace Herondale/Clary Fray</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>Halloween Fics [10]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/series/830448</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>4</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>22</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>Speechless</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>I started writing this for Halloween but I never finished it until now. If Halloween in January is your thing, enjoy!</p><p>I'm not tagging character death but the ending is ambiguous and you could read it, thinking someone died. Be aware of that and mind the blood and gore tag.</p><p>There are light references to my previous Meliorn/Jace fic <a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/20113189">here</a>, if you'd like to read that too.</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Jace walked into the park where they had agreed to meet. The park. <em>Their </em> park. They’d met here more times than Jace could count. They’d kissed for the first time here. They’d- Well, they’d done more than kiss for the first time here. Jace had never really had a place with someone. He and Clary’s whole relationship together had been so hectic, they’d never had time to make <em> a place </em> of their own. </p><p>Jace wondered briefly what <em> their place </em> would have been. Perhaps, they’d have found a cafe they both liked, one close enough to the institute to duck away for a little bit and curl up in a corner by themselves. Perhaps, they’d have gone to that art gallery Clary was always talking about. Maybe, they’d have gone enough for that to be <em> their place.</em></p><p>Jace pushed those thoughts away. He and Meliorn had been talking a lot about trying to be more in the present. Jace didn’t have to move on- he couldn't- but he was here now. Clary wasn’t. She couldn’t be and the least Jace could try to do was focus on what was happening now and enjoy himself. He’d have plenty of time to dwell later. </p><p>Jace walked through the park until he reached the end that led into the thick woods. There he frowned, puzzled. Meliorn should have already been there. He was nothing if not punctual and on a night like tonight, Jace had thought he’d find his boyfriend here waiting for him dressed like the prince he was. Instead, he’d found… An earthworm. </p><p>Jace kicked at the grass for a moment and then stopped. Meliorn probably wouldn’t like that senseless destruction.</p><p>At first, Jace figured maybe Meliorn was just a moment late but as the moment grew on, Jace found himself sitting on the ground as he waited. There were downworlders trickling through the park, peering at him suspiciously. He wasn’t acting like a normal shadowhunter on Halloween. He wasn’t standing alert, weapon in hand, scanning the horizon. He was sitting on the ground, bored. </p><p>Jace pondered for a moment why Meliorn always seemed to find him sitting on the ground like a toddler. Then, he remembered it was because he had the attention span of a five-year-old. </p><p>Moments moved into minutes until Jace realized he’d been sitting, waiting for nearly half an hour. He frowned deeper. This wasn’t like Meliorn at all. Jace pulled himself to his feet. He’d been scanned around him, searching for any sign of him. He’d been just about to turn back and go find Alec or Magnus, thinking maybe Meliorn had already left, when he heard a voice call behind him from the tree.</p><p>“Jace.” </p><p>Jace froze. He turned slowly towards the voice of his boyfriend but when he scanned the trees, he saw nothing. The voice called again after a moment of silence passed. </p><p>“Jace.” </p><p>Jace’s hand dropped to the weapon on his belt. The voice calling for him was unmistakably the voice of his boyfriend but something about it was wrong. It took hearing it again to even recognize that something about it was horribly wrong.  His voice was just slightly off, in a way that Jace couldn’t even pinpoint. It almost sounded like someone or something was trying to imitate the way that Meliorn sounded: Like an animal had heard it and was echoing it back to him. </p><p>Jace scanned the trees again and this time, his eyes fell on a shadow standing just out of his sight passed the treeline. He slipped his stele out of his pocket, letting the heavy weight balance in his palm like it was made to be there. His eyes didn’t leave the figure in the shadows as he swiped it across his vision rune. </p><p>All at once, the darkness around him faded. What had been invisible before suddenly came into focus, crisp and clear. The colors were muted in the dark but the details appeared to Jace like he’d always been able to see them. He could see the river through the trees, the one he’d almost forgotten was there. He could see the leaves resting on the ground. He could see the stonewall to his right. </p><p>And suddenly, he could see Meliorn too. He stood motionless in the woods, his hands resting limply at his sides and his eyes locked on Jace like he could see nothing else. He stared blankly and the sight of it almost sent chills down the back of Jace’s spine. </p><p>Then, he smiled. His mouth stretched wide across his teeth, grinning out at him. Jace realized he hated that expression so much more. “Mel?” He called softly. “Why don’t you come out here?” He asked, flicking his head down towards the clearing in front of him. </p><p>The expression on Meliorn’s face stretched wider. God, did Jace hate that. </p><p>Meliorn didn’t move forward. He didn’t react to what Jace had said at all besides the broken grin stretching further across his face, stretching far too wide to be natural. Jace could see all of his teeth in his mouth, sharp and shimmering in the moonlight. It was a mouth that had bit at Jace’s neck while he arched under him. It was a mouth that had nibbled down his chest and yet, Jace knew that he would not want those teeth anywhere near him right now. </p><p>Jace took a step forward. He didn’t want to. Something in the back of his head was telling him not to go anywhere near whatever this thing was but Jace couldn’t help himself. It was obvious that he- it- was not going to move forward and Jace wasn't going to just leave.</p><p>He’d dealt with shapeshifting demons before and that’s what this had to be, right? He knew how to take care of them. He knew that he could and yet, Jace’s hands were cold and damp where he was still clutching his weapon. The hair was standing on the back of Jace’s arms and some childlike part of him wanted to run. </p><p>He wanted to turn away and run until he found Alec or an adult or someone. </p><p>He didn’t want to be here alone. He didn’t want to walk into the woods, closer to that thing that just kept staring at him and grinning but he was a shadowhunter. This was his job and he wasn’t going to call back up for one demon. They’d laugh in his face, especially on Halloween when everyone was already so busy.</p><p>Jace walked forward. He counted in his head like Alec had told him to do once when they were kids. When you were scared of something, you could count until it was over. Like when he’d be ordered to go down into the basement to get something. He could count to forty-two and then, he’d be back upstairs. </p><p>Or when they were doing a new simulation. They normally didn’t last longer than two minutes. Jace could count to one hundred and twenty and no matter what, when he reached that number he’d be done. </p><p><em> One</em>. </p><p>He reached the woodline. </p><p><em> Four</em>. </p><p>He’d passed the clearing and walked into the trees, where no one would see him at all unless they were really looking. </p><p><em> Seven</em>. </p><p>Meliorn cocked his head. His expression didn’t change but he twisted his head to the side, staring at Jace like he was curious, like he didn’t believe Jace was really coming to him.</p><p><em> Eight</em>. </p><p>It wasn’t Meliorn, Jace reminded himself.  </p><p><em> Ten</em>. </p><p>Jace tripped and Meliorn laughed in the moment where he struggled to right himself. The noise made Jace want to throw up. It didn’t sound anything like Meliorn’s laugh.</p><p><em> Eleven</em>.</p><p>Wasn’t Meliorn, he reminded himself again.</p><p><em> Thirteen</em>. </p><p>There was blood on the ground. Jace was sure that’s what it was but he didn’t look at it closely. He didn’t take his eyes off the thing in front of him. He was sure if he did, it would move. He was sure if he looked away, it would take that chance to dart forward and kill him. </p><p><em> Fourteen</em>. </p><p>Maybe, it would snap his neck. Maybe, it actually would bite him. Maybe, it would stab him and let him bleed out among the leaves and dirt. Maybe, it would kiss him before he died and smear the blood around his lips.</p><p><em> Fifteen</em>.</p><p>Jace was only a couple yards away from it. He was going to keep walking forward until he reached it until he was close enough to strike or grab it but something made him stop. Jace wanted to speak. He wanted to do <em> something </em> but he stood frozen in fear.</p><p><em> Sixteen</em>.</p><p>Some demons could paralyze their victims, Jace recalled. </p><p><em> Seventeen</em>. </p><p>Meliorn moved forward. This close, Jace could see that there was blood on his hands. Jace could see the broken, mangled shape of his chest that was peeking out of the torn clothes he was wearing. This wasn’t Meliorn’s smooth chest, the one that shimmered with leaves and dirt and looked like something sculpted right out of marble, this was an imitation that had been broken and mangled, this was a copy where all of the ribs had been broken.</p><p><em> Eighteen</em>. </p><p>How had it known to look like Meliorn, unless Meliorn had been here? How could it take his shape, unless it had seen him?</p><p><em> Nineteen</em>.</p><p>Whose blood was on the ground anyway?</p><p><em> Twenty</em>. </p><p>Meliorn stopped in front of him. He was still smiling. Jace couldn’t remember why he hadn’t liked that before. He couldn’t remember why it had looked wrong, why it had made him feel so bad. </p><p><em> Twenty-one</em>. </p><p>Meliorn kissed him. His hands were rough on Jace’s side. His nails dug into his flesh. It hurt and it made Jace want to laugh. </p><p><em> Twenty-two, </em>or had it been three? Four? He’d been counting, right?</p><p>Jace hit the ground. His head cracked on a rock. Meliorn was standing above him now. His fingers stretched long, too long. Jace couldn’t remember the word for those. His eyes were the wrong color too, Jace realized. He looked funny like he was standing in one of those funhouse mirrors. </p><p><em> Five. </em> </p><p>Jace was counting. It had been important. The stairs to the basement. Training. Count to one hundred and twenty and then it’s over. </p><p><em> Five</em>. </p><p>He almost looked like a demon. </p><p><em> Five</em>. </p><p>Claws. That’s the word he’d been looking for. His hands looked like claws. Meliorn couched over him. His eyes were red. His claws scratched across Jace’s chest and then, they pushed in, violent and fast.</p><p><em> Five</em>. </p><p>Blood bubbled at Jace’s lips. He wanted Meliorn to kiss him again. What had Clary said her mom would do when she was little? She’d kiss it better. Jace wanted Meliorn to kiss it better. He laughed and the air left his lungs completely. It was funny but only a little. </p><p><em> Five</em>. </p><p>It didn’t look like Meliorn at all anymore. Jace wondered where Meliorn was. </p><p><em> Five</em>.</p><p>Jace closed his eyes. Counting. He couldn’t remember where he’d been. Five. Twenty. One hundred and Twenty. Jace laughed. It almost sounded like a choke more than anything. Blood spilled out of his lips. Jace laughed. He choked. He was meeting Meliorn. It was Halloween. Jace laughed. </p><p>There was a sound suddenly as the demon was thrown off him and knocked to the side but Jace couldn't hear it anymore. He was counting. Right, he’d been at five. </p><p>Something about that number sounded funny in Jace's head. He laughed and Meliorn finally kissed him, just as everything went dark.</p><p>He tasted like blood and Jace wondered why. </p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>If angst and character death is your thing, you can read the ending thinking Jace died. Personally, I imagined he passed out and Meliorn was actually kissing him, trying to get him to breathe again. It's all up to your interpretation.</p></blockquote></div></div>
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